Long time no post! 

Life feels different when you hit 30 (or 30-plus-whatever). That includes how your body responds to exercise. The workouts that once felt effortless in your 20s don’t always have the same impact—especially if you’ve taken a break from regular training.

I recently got back from a cruise to New Zealand, and as expected, my usual exercise routine went straight out the window. When you’re on holiday, it's easy to let fitness take a back seat—buffets, cocktails, and pure relaxation take over. And honestly? I embraced it.

I’ll admit, staying consistent with exercise at the start of 2024 was a challenge. I managed a couple of workouts a week—sometimes skipping a few entirely. But by mid-October, I reminded myself that fitness isn’t linear, and I decided to take back control. I started small, aiming for at least three workouts a week—sometimes hitting four. Progress, not perfection.

I kept telling myself, "You’ve done this before; you can do it again." And I have. I once lost 15kg over two years just by being consistent. So, I got back into a mix of cardio and HIIT workouts, gradually rebuilding my strength and stamina.

On the cruise, I was determined to relax but also take advantage of any opportunity to move—even in the smallest ways. Of course, leisure won for the most part, but when we docked on the islands in New Zealand, I made it a point to get my steps in while soaking up the stunning views.

I explored some beautiful spots, but Tauranga was my favorite. My partner and I decided to take on a “mini hike-ish” trail walk at Mount Maunganui.

We took the "easy" walking track, which ended up being a 1 hour and 45-minute trek. Thankfully, there were benches along the way to rest after each climb. As someone with CP, these walks come with their own set of challenges—uneven ground, unexpected inclines—but I was determined to push through. We briefly considered taking a steeper track for a higher view, but after a quick scout, we realized it would be too difficult. Still, I was incredibly proud of us (mostly me, this was a breeze for my partner!)  for completing the trail. I can’t even remember the last time I walked that much, and it’s always been on my bucket list to go on a proper big walk. I've always just been conscious of my CP and the challenges.

After a break and some lunch, we stumbled upon Hopukiore Lookout. At first glance, it looked like just a few stairs—no big deal, right? So I thought, "Let’s go!" But after the stairs, we were met with a deceivingly steep hill. Since we were already halfway there, I grabbed my partner’s hand and pushed through. And I’m so glad I did.

The view at the top was absolutely worth every step. Sweaty, tired, but accomplished—I had given my CP legs one hell of a workout that day.

 As i reflect on how far i've come on this journey, I ask myself these questions quite often now:

1)If i wasn't born with Cerebral Palsy, would i even want or consider this goal ?
2) Would this even be a hobby of mine today?
3) Would i even care or be interested?
4)Would i even bother pushing this hard?
5) Would I be striving this hard just to be stronger?

I just know that I'm pushing as hard as ever now, mentally, physically  and emotionally, and not for "perfection" but for improvement and strength and so can everyone else :).

 Have you ever come across an old childhood toy? One that you always knew was there but you would ignore it anyway because you had a better toy?

Well, over the weekend i was reunited with my long lost ankle weights which i bought years ago but don't remember using much. I'm pretty sure i bought them from when i was doing physio exercises when i was younger, but instead of nurturing those ankle weights i was interested in adding more to my beanie baby collection. My dad probably urged me to wear the ankle weights around the house (with obvious and good intentions) but knowing me back then, I would have refused to. However, last weekend i was eager to go and look for them again, and they have been found! Still in good condition :)

I've always had small legs as i was born with short, weak limbs/calves. It's difficult at times to remain stable and build leg muscle (especially on my right leg). However, ever since exercising i've noticed improvement. Whilst my legs still appear small and skinny, when i feel my calf muscles and Achilles,  I can definitely  feel more than just soft wobbly tissue.. and that to me is progress, even if the muscles are small, it's still muscle, right ? I remember after my correctional surgery my calf muscles and Achilles all just felt soft, like there was nothing there. I would jokingly say to my friends "Hey, feel the back of my leg it's all jelly, Haha!"

Even though these ankle weights aren't too heavy they add a new element to my workouts as i can easily incorporate them into my routines. The ankle weights are sand filled and only 2kg but they still add some resistance to my exercises. However, i will most likely progress to heavier ones when i'm able to get my hands on some, but these will do for now :) . What i like about using ankle weights is that i find they help me improve in my form for some exercises assisting with stability, and flexibility yet allow me to challenge my range of motion and muscle control in other exercises.

I've filmed a couple of my favourite exercises incorporating my ankle weights. Some of which were easy, some of which were challenging.  I've listed those exercises again below with some side notes and self critiques when needed.

Exercises in video: 

1) Donkey Kicks

2) Side Leg kicks: Also train the hip muscles. Using the ankle weights for this adds resistance especially when lowering the leg back down. Have to make sure i always have a soft, slow landing rather than just slamming it back down.

3) Leg Raises: My all time favourite exercise! Leg raises have started getting easier for me and adding a dumb bell weight (between my feet) in addition to these ankle weights give me more of a challenge and definitely more resistance. I can only do about 3 sets of 10 reps for these but i love to practice them. Hopefully i'll progress and i'll be able to raise those legs higher! :) It's a challenge making sure my feet don't touch/slam into the mat on the way down. That mind muscle- connection is strong in this one.

4) Hamstring curls: I have trouble gripping the dumb bell weight between my feet this way, so for now i'm just using the ankle weights. I'm trying very hard to control my hips, making sure they don't lift too much.

Music:
Title:Kaleidoscope Dreams
Artist: Miguel

Ankle weights used: 'Guy Leetch Fitness' 2kg

My first ever pair of Nike shoes! ❤️✨😍🎀💁#noshame haha! I used to never understand the fuss about these tbh. But as my collection of active wear is growing, I realised I've had the same pair of old white sneakers since high school so I decided maybe I should consider Nike as one of my options for new shoes.. But what really won me over was how the brand practiced user-centred/user engagement design. I found out Nike recently launched a new line of zip up shoes for people who have a disability and struggle to tie their shoe laces. Although my new purchase obviously aren't those shoes, I 100% support how innovative Nike have become as they now market their shoes to a wider audience and raise awareness about inclusion and supporting people with disabilities. A 16 yr old with #cerebralpalsy wrote to Nike requesting they design a shoe for people (in the same dilemma) who struggle tying shoe laces. His request was granted with Nike's new line of 'zoom soldier8's' :) I personally couldn't tie my shoes until the 1st grade and when I wore my leg brace, grasping grip on my shoe laces was sometimes difficult. Some of the effects of cerebral palsy is having difficulty or delay in fine motor skills/control... "when we say, if you have a body, you're an athlete, that means everybody."- Nike shoe designer Tobi Hatfield.👟 GOOD JOB NIKE 👊🙌❤️💚 @nike #cerebralpalsyawareness #cerebralpalsy #disabilityawareness #thankyounike #nike #positivevibes #usercentereddesign

A photo posted by ariane (@ariane418) on Aug 1, 2015 at 5:17am PDT

Whilst i am following Kayla Itsines' BBTG (am currently on my second round of BBG 1.0 - on week 10 at the moment) and still love it and have been doing it religiously for months now!..  sometimes when i'm doing her guides i like to mix it up and incorporate other workouts while i am doing her guides... not because i don't feel like i'm progressing or bored for that matter, but because i feel it's good to change it up every now and again, experiment and push myself further. If you're familiar with Kayla's guides, some of the exercises here (below) are similar to what's in her guides already... But oddly enough.. maybe because they are laid out differently, I still feel challenged when i do them. I'm not  bashing or neglecting Kayla's guides as i have been doing them since the start of 2015 and still am doing them! If anything, her guides have taught me about discipline, structure, routine and names/terminologies of exercises. I feel like i'm able to discipline myself to explore other options of  how else i can challenge myself because of what i've gained from the BBG guides! Sometimes i'll even do an extra workout day by either repeating a day from her guide from that week OR i'll randomly just look at other workouts from online/youtube or instagram and do them in addition to the BBG.





Below i've  listed the ones that were MOST challenging for me in each workout circuit and i review & critique how i am at attempting them:

Total Body:

- The Pile Squat: Whilst i love squats they also require so much thinking as i struggle to even do standard squats most times. Putting my hands on my hips made it more difficult for me to maintain my posture as i would lean too forward. So it's better if i just to push my arms outwards in front of me instead. While doing these  i also had to make sure my feet would do its best to point in the right direction. Of course i could only do my best and go as low as i could... which still isn't very low.

-Donkey Kicks ( kicking out with my left leg:) I am right side hemiplegic meaning the right side of my body has weaker control and balance. When i donkey kick with my right leg i seem to  have more control and  better balance in comparison to when i donkey kick with my left leg. The reason being is because as you kick out with which ever leg, the other side that is stable is there to support you and help you balance, so when i kick out with my right leg, my left side which is stable (stronger side) is able to support me. However, when i kick out my left leg i tend to shift towards to the right side (unintentionally) because my right side has trouble balancing & supporting.

-Heel Touches: I feel the most uncoordinated (second to squats haha) with this one. Reaching down to my left side is easier than my right. I feel as though my right foot becomes stubborn and turns in and starts to stretch out. I have to physically bring my leg back up and reposition myself. Though, when i first starting to exercise i couldn't even do one! so hoorah for getting somewhere and being able to somehow do these..

Muffin Top Blaster:

-Mountain climbers/Alternative Knee-ins: I've never done alternative Knee-ins before until this but i know how to do them (at a slow pace). Interestingly, It was easier for me to co-ordinate my right leg to my opposite elbow rather than my left which fell short. I'm guessing its to do with my weak right side again.

-Bird Dogs/Alternating reach & Kick Back: I replaced these with donkey kicks. I feel like i get more out of the donkey kicks. It's even harder for me to remain upright doing the bird dogs (if donkey kicks are challenging for me).With Bird dogs, I would just flop and shake to the ground. I will hopefully one day be able to do them though.

-Side Plank:  Always a challenge for me. The max i can hold these is for 30 seconds. Sometimes i wobble forward. I do my best to have my form correct though.

3 circuits in 1: I'm just going to write an overall review for this one

One day i decided to create my own 3 in 1 circuit from what i've found on instagram just for fun! Each time i've done this i've been in pain the next day but i love it! I feel all my muscles working. I am actually proud of myself for putting this together as they were all individual workouts.
In The following order i  would do: 
1) Bottom left picture x3 times .. or 4 if i feel like
2) the top picture x1 (because its basically doing each exercise x3 anyways..)
3) the bottom right15 reps x3.

By the end of this one i am dead! When doing "Russian twists" it's hard for me to keep balance and to try and stop myself from leaning or falling and sometimes when i do "crunches" or sit ups i use weights or a medicine ball to help me if i feel like i'm straining myself but then there are other times when i feel i just can use my arms to help bring me up. With "bicycle crunches" OR "AB bikes" i feel like i have trouble controlling my pace when doing them and struggle reaching my left elbow to my right knee. I feel uncoordinated  but i feel as though i am  getting better the more i do them. Haha :)

***THIS IS NOT A TUTORIAL***


First off, Very Sorry for the very poor quality. first time i've tried to put something together. The raw files aren't as compressed as they appear here.  However, i will do another one some time soon with better quality.   When i was filming, i wasn't planning on posting anything publicly or make a montage. I only decided after watching the clips over and over again... I initially just wanted to play these back for myself. 


The workouts in the video: 
+ additional Pink annotations in the video (they're abit hard to read SORRY) 

1) Alternative Burpee = 15 reps :  
I Should extend legs more when jumping out

2) Medicine Ball Crab walks = 20 reps : 
Need more control on right foot. It's pointing outwards

3) Medicine Ball Squat and Press = 15-20 reps : 
Oops! doing them too fast & Shifting to the left a bit

4) 180 Degree Jump Squats = 20-24 reps : 
Leaning/Bending too forward

5) Kettle Bell Swing & Squat =15-20 reps

6) X jumps = 30 reps

Music:
Album: Born Sinner Deluxe Edition
Artist: J.Cole


As a way to help myself improve with my exercise routines, I thought i would start recording and self critiquing myself. Although i am not a qualified professional, I have some idea of what i'm doing wrong when i watch these clips back. This is a huge step for me as whenever my workout routines have been recorded they have never been or felt this raw,  someone else would record, or i'd be with someone else in the video and if i was recording myself it would only be a short clip.  Most of the time i hate watching myself because i'm aware of how unco-ordinated i look when working out. However, after looking back at these, i realised again how important it is to  learn from yourself and how important that mind-muscle connection is.

In the past with physio and gait analysis sessions (the study of human motion), i would get recorded countless times walking up and down corridors and other doing physical tests so professionals were able to analyse and study my movements and how my muscles work. Though, as stated above, i really didn't like watching myself because i already knew that i couldn't walk straight and that my muscles were too tight/stiff. Nothing else would sink in for me when watching myself. I thought "studying me must be super boring, but okay.." and so i guess i would just rely on other people telling me what i should do. I''ve had people tell me... "make your mind control your muscles"... I always thought i did (obviously not hard enough)... But it felt different when i was recording myself this time. I felt my muscles were working harder.
 

I'm thankful that i actually decided to record myself even though that wasn't my initial plan (to be honest i took my laptop outside to listen to my J.Cole playlist haha) but then i wanted to see how i looked doing my version of modified Burpees. At first, all i could do was cringe but then i decided to try again and improve on what i just saw. I found myself working harder as i was mentally talking to myself "extend your legs more.. try to imagine yourself as you're moving down."

When i was self critiquing myself, I thought it was weird because i actually felt myself become more aware and i was actually enjoying it... I always knew that i don't move "normally or gracefully" when exercising, but to have a hard look and actually be able to give myself critical feedback(and getting past hating myself on video) rather than say "nah you can't do that exercise properly" just made me learn more about myself... I could actually SEE which muscles tighten when doing a particular exercise, when i'm leaning too much to one side and when my feet turn in or out and take note on how much i actually struggle to squat haha (it looks like im not doing much but when i'm trying to squat, it feels like i'm going lower than i actually am.) I've recorded myself many times and many others also do it too! But now,  i'm more appreciative when watching myself because i'm basically learning more about myself and what i should improve on :)

One of my frustrations is my arms. There are times when I'm exercising where my arms just want to give up when i just want to keep going. Sometimes after a couple of reps with weights the muscles tighten and start to have a mind of its own.

June 2015

Although i dread working out my arms, I love seeing an improvement, and feeling muscles i never felt before "come to life" because as cliche' as it sounds, it means i'm getting stronger and it's worth all the frustration and pain.

Below i've listed some of my favourite arm workouts/exercises and alternatives for the ones that kill me haha  - BODY WEIGHT /3-10kgWEIGHTS


PUSH UPS: There are 2 other ways to do a push up other than a classic push up. It took me 2-3 months to be able to do the classic push up! Click here to see the other two.

LAY DOWN PUSH UPS: These are "easy"  but still get my heart racing after 6 reps and turn my arms into jelly. I Try to push for 10-15 each set though!  Here's how.

BICEP CURLS (3-5 kg weights each hand): Sometimes if i have trouble having control in both arms ,  i focus on one arm first , then I alternate. Here's how.

TRICEP EXTENSION WITH WEIGHTS OR MEDICINE BALL: If it helps to stop leaning on one side or if your posture is off, you can also try these sitting down to have more focus in keeping your back straight. Try to control and go slowly Here's how.

TRICEP DIPS:  Love/hate these ha!
The classic way.
Modified/alternative
The advanced way

BOXING: Whether it's with weights , body weight or gloves and pads, Boxing increases the heart rate and is my favourite way work up a sweat and exercise/improve my coordination.

WEIGHTED SQUAT CLEAN & PRESS: Although i find these very challenging the more i use heavier weights, they definitely kill my arms especially when moving up towards the press. It's hard for me to  gain control sometimes. Sometimes i prefer to use a medicine ball rather than weights.  Here's how - (First picture on circuit 2 )

DUMBBELL LATERAL RAISE: This makes my muscles want to retract back, causing me to lean forward sometimes. Sometimes i do one arm at a time for more control. Here's how.
OR  i find it easier sometimes to extend the raise over my head into a press and  then slowly lower my arms back to starting position.